Friday, February 08, 2019

The unrecoverable you

All our lives, we have been building ourselves, correcting ourselves, polishing ourselves so that we become a better person as time passes by. We learn so much from the people around us. We try to gain the knowledge from their own experiences. We get so many lessons from our own lives. We tend to mend ourselves by correcting ourselves to become a better version of us. We see us in the future being that perfect person. Everything goes smoothly in life. You will have friends come and go in our lives. Even friends play a trivial role in your life for making you a better person, and yes of course only if you know what is right and wrong. But then again, whether you do something right or wrong, what matters is what you did with it when you realised what you were doing is wrong.

You get married. You have a person in your life. with whom you share your life with. You might have had a bad past with your ex. They might have broken your heart, or you would have broken theirs. You would want to apply your experience with your partner. But then you realise, every person is different and you do not want to publish that person because of someone else who did give you a bad past. You then move on in life with your current partner. And if you love that person, you start becoming a totally different person. You do anything for them. You change yourself. You become their aura. You sacrifice so much for them to make their life a better place. You wipe their tears even before it comes into their eyes. You do whatever it takes to keep them happy. You feel its your motto of life. And yes. it makes you happy all along. You tend to see the small small things which makes your partner happy. All the learning that you had, you'll put them to test. You just forget yourself and you try to be an elf in their life. Even without them knowing, you so the things which will make them happy. And yes.. the happiness on their face is the most ultimate gift which you can receive.

You then look forward for the future. Start building dreams. You build your own world around you. You keep your circle close so that you don't get distracted. You trust your partner blindly. Because you cannot even imagine them going against you. How can you go against you. That would be your thought. Blind trust; something which only a child is capable of exhibiting. You pick up a child, you throw them in the air, they would laugh out loud while coming down. Thats only because they trust you blindly. They know you'll catch them. They believe that you would catch them. When one shows this kind of trust in their marriage, I dont think anyone can hope for anything more from that person. You break all boundaries for them. You go against the society rules on how a partner should be treated. You know the society rules are just bunch of rules set by some ignorant small minded people. You treat your partner the way you want, which you know will keep them happy. Well.. isnt that why all get married? to be happy :)

You'll have your ups and downs in life. But then thats how you sail in the ocean of life. The waves keep crashing onto your life. But you hold strong. You have been strong. Thats what you've been building yourself to be. To stay strong, even in the strongest storm. You take your time to pacify yourself, and your partner. You be there for them. Not every day is a sunny day. Rough times are the times when your life is being tested. But then you cannot do anything about the storm. They are not in your control. But then, the fearless you, sail through it without much problems. And you move ahead with your journey with whatever is left of the boat. Then you rebuild the boat, patch up the broken parts, and continue your journey. For most of the troubled times, you stay ignorant. Not because you cannot face it, but because you know that, those times are just temporary and it wont last soon. You'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuffs that you were paying attention to.


And then a day comes when you cannot be ignorant anymore. Your eyes are forcefully opened. The world you built, comes crashing down like the house built by pack of cards made of glass. You hear them shatter. Each card was the foundation that made you, you. You hear them crash one by one. You can feel the pain as they crash down on you. All your beliefs, trust, unconditional love, all becomes questionable. You start questioning them. You start questioning yourself. You hear voices "I told you so" from every direction. But deep inside you know it wasnt like that. You do not want to question your belief. But you are forced to. You cry deep inside. No one around you can feel the storm inside you.  You want to end it. But then you know, thats not who you are. You are not a coward. You  are brave. This is not the end. But then you think of the time and effort you put in that person, and you start questioning everything again. You go back and forth with those thoughts. Finally you realise that you have to face it. You have to face the reality of what is happening. You need to stay strong. Because, that is the only option that is left with you. You close your eyes to sleep, but you cannot sleep. You lie there for hours, and your brain shows you the flashback. You can feel the brain making fun of you. You can feel the brain laugh at you for being such an ignorant prick. Little does the brain know you. Only you know what you did and why you did. You just smile back by putting your head down. Not in shame, but knowing no one will every understand the unconditional love that you had.

Once your eyes are opened, it becomes all the difficult and impossible to close it. You start to question everything that is happening. You can feel the damage inside you. You want to repair it. But you cannot. Everything starts to harden. Your brain, your heart. You become emotionally disconnected. You now just have a memory of storm even though they are inside you right now. But you have become so immune to it that you cannot even feel it. The world around you has opened. Now so many people around you can see you. They start questioning you, mocking you, telling you how big of a fool you are. But you stay silent, listen to everything they say. You don't react. You stay calm. Because, no one will every understand the path you took.

Now you're fighting inner demons. You now stop sailing and look back, only to realise that you're a long way from the old you. You sit there, wanting to go back to the old you. But you have scars on your back, which isnt letting you to back. How much ever you try, you cannot go back. You can see how damaged you are now. You have so many issues. You have lost belief. You lost faith in love. You dont trust anyone. You stay alert when anyone comes to talk to you. You have trust issues with everyone. Deep inside you know that's not you. But then the scars remind you of your sailing experience. You are not the same person anymore. You are so damaged from the inside that it seems impossible for you to recover from it. But then, you are a strong person. You stay strong. Even with such damage, you will be able to sail.

Now its the wait that bothers you. You have no direction. You have no goal. You are just numb deep inside. Once you were so ambitious and now you see yourself and you feel like a pathetic loser in life. Well, like someone said, its just a bad day, not a bad life. In that hope we wait. 

Friday, April 26, 2013

Marriage Prologue

       Marriage..... The other side of the coin. Its really a least understood phase of life. I've seen many single and married people and their views about marriage. Everyone had their own understanding about marriage. Initial phase of a married life whether love or arranged, is awesome... the whole world knows about them.... they would have their status updates on social networks, photos being shared.. liked... tagged... :) really amazing they feel.... Wherever they go, they go together.. whatever they eat, they eat together... walk together... sleep together... :) Its really exciting and the most awesome phase of marriage... Its during these moments when both the partners could see their dream come true.... Both of them are not worried about anything...


   After the awesome honeymoon phase, both of them return to the real world. They reach back home... starts to settle down... these days most of the couples starts living on their own.. that means away from their families... This is the most important phase of marriage.. this is the time when the couple actually starts sharing their stuffs.. Same bed, Same closet, Same bathroom, same kitchen, living room, tv, dining, everything.... The main problem here is... they both are there for each other always.. This has never happened before marriage... Because both of them could give 80% of their time to each other and the remaining time they used to give for themselves.... but now... even those 20% of time they are around each other... slowly frustration starts to increase.... 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Relationships

How often once u cross the teenager age friends, others and your experiences tells u that "everyone, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, bestfriend has an end but family doesnt...." Ever thought about why is it so? what really makes our family so special? why in the whole world we try to look outside for people to talk.. try new people and in the end you dont get what u deserve? Why disappointment doesnt come even when u are just done with a huge fight? Why is it that we tend to question ur judgement of having ur best friend just after a small misunderstanding?
            The answer is simple... with family comes commitment.... Its the only explanation that can be given... You've lived with ur family for the past 25+ years...... How can u let go of something towards which u were attached for so long? :) There the commitment comes both ways.. There would be moments when you would be having difficult times like.. u might be thinking ur parents are not doing enough for u, u feel there is a big generation gap because of which they're acting weird, ur parents feel u are the black sheep of the family, ur parents feel u dont understand the responsibility, u might feel ur parents doesnt care about u and they really dont know u.... Everything is true...
         During other relationships, We tend to have fights, we have similar emotions, anger, hatred, trust issues, jealousy, partners not understanding each other, commitment issues, etc. Once u start to have such emotions in other relationships, u tend to lose interest or u might try to find someone better or one may choose not to go for any future commitment....

              It is not that any of the relationship has an end..... Once we understand the meaning of the word commitment, i dont think there is anything else that would hold any relationship... Even through the greatest storm u will come out... that too not alone.... Commitment is like, when u throw a baby up..... it'll laugh.... why? because the baby knows that u will be there to hold him.... Even if u drop the baby once, it would still have that assurance that next time when u throw the baby up, u would be there to hold him... That is called as commitment... and it goes both ways... but that doesnt mean that if ur partner did something wrong, like dropping the baby, that he is not committed. Trust is another factor that u need to have... there is no excuse saying that u are a girl and u cannot trust ur partner.... No... If u trust ur family, u can have trust in other relationships too...
         Having a broken relationship might lead us to take extreme steps like not getting committed at all... Well... thats not the lesson that we should've learnt... :) if u are afraid to give commitment next time, trust issues steps in...  Its a cycle... u cannot run from it.....  We have to forgive.. we need to learn from the kind of love u give ur family, to ur friends to keep a relationship from ending....

           None of the relationship will have an end, unless u give up... 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Principles

Everyone lives by a code... a set of principles.. .which defines who they want to be in this world.... A code, which they have set by going through various stages of lives... thus alter and redefining the code.... Once we're onto the belief of that code... we want to   try it the other way.... as to what if we're wrong about those set of principles..... We then try to go against them and try to do the things that doesnt fit the code.... Some lessons we learn it faster and we conclude that we were right.... but some codes... we go deep... so deep.. that it'll take u ages to come to the conclusion that we were right... the whole time... we were right.. but when u learn it, u might have become a different person altogether... playing against the code the whole time.... u learnt the lesson the hard way.. it took us years to understand that our principles were correct.... u would seem lost now.... because you've been playing against ur principles for so long that they're not longer that defines who u are... The feeling right now is like.. all these time you've been dreaming.. and when u were so much into that dream, someone pours water on you and wake you up.. Everything happens so suddenly that even during such actual situations, it takes time for you to come out into reality... Same happens here... it takes us time to come out and come back to our code.... Only to make us realize that we were correct... but it makes us stronger... all the more stronger than you ever were.... some of us just give up and take a different path... thus forgetting everything about the code... it would lead them to a destructive path... 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Wrong Decisions


        Sometimes we think that the decisions that we took were wrong and u might want to kill yourself for that... You might see that because of the decisions that you took, others were hurt too..... We start to think about the alternate life that we could've been in if we hadnt taken that decision...

            Thats not correct... If you really care about something or someone, then whatever decisions that you'd take is never wrong...  if something you did in something that you believe in made you happy, then its never called a bad decision.... things might not work out the way you might have thought it to be.... We always eventually end up getting a better life...

           We must look into our past.. we need to search for decisions that we had taken that has lead us to the present... If u already got an answer to those decisions that u had taken, then you will understand life.... We need to keep analyzing our past inorder to understand the present unanswered decisions...

          None of the decisions are wrong if u took the decision for someone else.... If you had taken a decision for someone else, u can never hurt the other person because u already have given a lot of thought to it... things might not end up as you had thought to be... but it actually ends up being good... Sometimes its not the words that you actually say that might help the other person.. sometimes its the silence and the belief you put in the other person that you'll be there for them always, that makes them strong... 

Answers to our questions

Everyone in this world has a question... why cant we get this? why cant we get that? why cant things go right? Everyone is so confused and frustrated about these questions.... One might be looking out for a job... but he might end up in something totally different work profile.... He might choose not to take it... but eventually due to the 'worldly pressure', he would end up taking a work profile he wasnt interested in... what does that mean now?  Does that mean that he dont deserve to get a job in which he is interested in? The answer is No... he does deserve it.. but he aint ready yet... For one to pursue his ambitious work, he needs to be prepared before getting one.... otherwise he wont be able to sustain.....

           Everyone in this world is confused... No one knows what to do... no one knows what they'll get if they try... but eventually they get what they had dreamt of at one point of life..... The point here is, we need to be patient about what we want to get.... If we're not successful, we need to be patient and keep up the good work in present. We are forced to shape up for the future... We need to accept the present as it is.... One shouldnt be angry or frustrated with anything that goes around or what he gets... Instead it turns out to be beneficial in the future because u become what you are now in the future... all the qualities that you accumulate over a period of time will define the way you be in the future...

        We need to be patient in life.... We would not get what we want.. but we definitely get what we deserve... Life is quite simple... its us who are seeking for answers and its us who dont have patience to sit for getting the answers.. we want the answers quick... Everytime you fall... everytime you're hurt... everytime you're defeated, it doesn't mean that you were wrong..

      We just need to understand the fact that the answers to our questions are getting prepared... Just be patient and give your 100% to the present....

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Life... won't it be beautiful like this?

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Face the change than to fear the change

Life is full of surprises... Everything depends upon how we take them..... There is no one person in the whole world who has a so called perfect life.. because the definition of perfect life changes every time.... We try to re-define the perfect life... Life would be strictly boring if it goes the way you think.... There will be one point in life where you would start to think the purpose of life because everything would be going on the way you think it should go... We would get bored of life because we know whats going to come... That is where life plays with us and keeps us interested in the game....

Friday, February 12, 2010

How can one be correct?

How can you make sure that what you did is correct? On what factors can we say that what we've done is correct?
     What I feel is, whatever you do is correct. Its just that everybody have their own perspective. Do you think lying is wrong? well it depends upon what context its been used or at which situation its been used.

You might do something to benefit others. But its not always that they think that what you did for them was correct for them. They have their perspective.. and you have yours.. This is the main reason why people dont make close friends as and when they grow up.

:)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

after the break

I really dont know why i've stopped blogging around here. maybe i was busy with something which i really dont know. Why do we really get confused? or do we get confused when we dont get the answer to ur questions? we feel like we are in the middle of the sea. there is nothing much you can do to help yourself. there is nothing much u can do from past experiences. you feel like every time you have new problems

Isnt it great?

Saturday, July 14, 2007

You're all ALONE

          Most of us feel in some point of life that we are all alone in the long run of life. We feel that there is no one to help us, there is no one to guide us, no one in this world cares for you, you are lost.
            But the fact is, all of us have this same feeling at some point in our life. Everybody has this in mind. Why? Why does this feeling comes into every individuals mind? Maybe its because we think of future too much. We try to virtually shape our future by thinking about it in the present. We try to correlate our future with the setbacks that we are having now or that has happened in the past. When there are too many things in our mind, we start to see how others behave with you at that moment. They maybe behaving normally. But you try to seek cushion comfort from them. But how will they know and why should they care about you?
             How to overcome? Stop thinking about future. You might be thinking how is it possible to live life without thinking? Imagine you growing up from your birth till the age you started to think on your  own. I guess we havent thought so much that brought up till that position. Ok fine, our parents were there, but i dont think they controlled you at every moment. My point is, you never get what you plan. But you get more than that. You never get what you need, but whats necessary.

               No one is alone. Its alone. Its the thought that makes us crippled


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Monday, June 25, 2007

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.


Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
                                                                                                     

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant 

Friday, June 08, 2007

Our Life...

Our life starts and will end. But most of us dont taste life properly. Just because of few things we lose everything. Heres how.

Leaving everything from childhood, lets start with when we were in 10th. All our time we used to think, what will happen? how much percentage we'll get? Will we get admission in good college?

When we get answers to all the above series of questions, next set of questions starts, What will happen in 12? will i be able to pass? how much will i get? what will i do after that? will i get admission?

When we get answers to the above series of questions, next set of questions starts, Where will i get job? what will happen? will it be a better place for growth?? etc and etc.

I'm just skipping the office questions

After that marriage tension comes up. What will i get? how he/she would be? how it would go?

after we get answers to those questions, kids tension starts.. How he would be? What he would become? how to cope up with rising budget? etc and etc...

In short, we ask ourselves a million questions because of which what happens, we get restless as soon as we ask ourselves a question. And this continues until we find an answer. But the time that went in between, we've just wasted in thinking what the answer would be. and we have lost those precious moments of life.

So what shall we do? The answer is, Everyone's question will get answered but patience and time is what it takes. Let things come the way it should come. Those things will happen whether we want it or not. Lets just forget everything and just concentrate on present.



Give the world the best you have,  and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

http://sinu008.blogspot.com


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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Love and Marriage.....A compartive study!!

This is a good story that i've got as a forward in one of the mail.

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat
field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you
can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,
but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw
another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for
him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to
realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher
told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but
when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."*

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn
field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can
go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to
repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has
picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the
teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for
one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best
one you get.... this is marriage."*


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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Difficulty in life

What is called as the difficulty in life?
how can we define difficulty in life?
The answer is nothing. Difficulty is something which is not there but our mind makes it feel that its difficult. The things that we cannot do, or cannot achieve at this moment, people call it difficult. What we need is the things should be done in an instance. I mean come on a grad student cannot fly a rocket just after his course. He has to undergo lots of training and stuffs before he actually fly a rocket. We dont think about time and effort that it takes. We must think practically before we make any decision.

Friday, February 09, 2007

People

People are afraid of the world. They are afraid of others. When will this stop? When will people change? They hide from others. They hide from the people who are their own. All are afraid what others might think. They go on with multiple face outside. Not showing their innerself. They waste their whole life in this. They realize the truth only later. But till then its time to go and there is nothing what they can do. We then think that we have wasted our life. Human life's saturation time is really not there yet. Coz of the amount of time they live. Even if people know something they are afraid to express. Also if someone expresses it, others think that he is a fool. But atleast 1 out of 10 will realize what we meant and might react accordingly. People in this world are lost. They just try to go behind others shadow. They try to go in flocks just making it sure that nothing happens to them. But we must realize one thing that those are the group of people who are lost. They are just happy with the way they are. They are afraid of change. They are afraid of.... (leave comments if u got what i want to say)


Give the world the best you have,  and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

http://sinu008.blogspot.com


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Saturday, December 30, 2006

Communication

Communication is the major part that is between any relationship. Relations could be anything. any relationship need to have a good communication inorder to remove all the misconceptions between them. communication must be done to clarify things out.

We are afraid to talk and we try to make guesses about the opposite person. we really dont speak with him/ her. what we dont realize is that most of the time there is nothing the way we think and whats going on our mind.. its just in our head doing all the stupid calculations. But later on we think that we should have talked about it to the other person. after so many incidents, still we are like that. why cant we speak confidently and tell others about the feeling you have. what we think before telling is that what if the person takes it in the wrong way? well if the person is taking it in the wrong way, thats just because you are screwing up in telling it... just speak confidently. just get out the feelings....

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Understanding

           Understanding is the major part of human life. We need to understand about everything that is happening in the surrounding. Even the leaf falling, we must understand it. People wants each other to understand them. No one is perfect. But the thing is whether or not you are perfect for each other. Understanding plays an important role in a relationship. Everybody understands the situation. But it could be now or it could be 2 years from now. But he/she would really come to know. Understanding is not difficult but its not that easy too..

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Happiness: Deceived debris

what is happiness? what depends upon how much happy we are? what are the major causes that makes the happiness less happy or more happy? These are the questions which no one has time to ask or don't realize the importance....

We are happy when our plans work out.. We are happy when things go the way we think it should go or happen or get... but we never get the things we want.. but we get something more than that. And we come to know about its value later. People are searching for this for so long and their entire life but they are still looking for it.

What i really dont understand is why after so many years of experience and all, people are still sad and they feel that they are happy in their whole life. They start to blame others and God for this.

Monday, November 06, 2006

No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limiting

Ever heard the story of the four-minute mile? For years people believed that it is impossible for a human being to run a mile in less than four minutes until Roger Banister proved it wrong in 1954. Within one year, 37 runners broke the belief barrier. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing.

What happens if you put an animal in a pond? Any animal, big or small, will swim its way through. What happens when someone, who does not know how to swim, falls in deep waters? You drown. If an animal who has not learned swimming could escape by swimming, why not you? Because you believe you will drown while the animal does not.

You have used a computer keyboard or a typewriter. Ever wondered why the alphabets are organized in a particular order in your keyboard? You might have thought it is to increase the typing speed. Most people never question it. But the fact is that this system was developed to reduce the typing speed at a time when typewriter parts would jam if the operator typed too fast.

These three cases show the power of our beliefs. There is no other more powerful directing force in human behavior than belief. Your beliefs have the power to create and to destroy. A belief delivers a direct command to your nervous system.

Have you heard about the placebo effect? People who are told a drug will have a certain effect will many times experience that effect even when given a pill without those properties.

I use a snake in my workshops for children to show them how unrealistic some of their beliefs are. Students of a school in New Delhi, India, said snakes are slippery, slimy and poisonous. After doing an exercise for changing beliefs, they handled my snake and found it to be dry and clean. They also remembered that only three types of poisonous snakes exist in India.

Have you ever scanned the 'to-let' advertisements in newspapers? Many say 'South Indians preferred'. Why? Many house owners told me that it is easier to get South Indians to vacate. The belief was that South Indians do not have the guts to fight. Now you figure out the impact of LTTE supremo Prabhakaran and Southern sandalwood smuggler Veerappan in changing this belief!

It is also our belief that determines how much of our potential we will be able to tap. So you better examine some of your beliefs minutely. For example, do you believe that you can excel in whatever you do? Do you believe you are bad in mathematics? Do you believe that other people don't like you? Do you believe life is full of problems? What are your beliefs about people?

No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limiting. A belief is nothing but the generalization of a past incident. As a kid if a dog bit you, you believed all dogs to be dangerous. To change a particular behavior pattern, identify the beliefs associated with it. Change those beliefs and a new pattern is automatically created.

I read this incident in a New York newspaper. "She met him in a singles' bar and they talked for a while. He offered her a drink and she enjoyed his company. Then he offered to drop her back home. While driving back, she realized that they were moving through narrow and strange roads. 'Oh God where is he taking me?' she thought but did not have the guts to ask. She cursed her decision to get into his car. All of a sudden she saw him taking a turn back into the highway just near her house. Smiling, he said: 'I took a short cut'."

Did this story end the way you thought? Review your beliefs now and find out which ones are empowering and which ones you need to change.

Life

Life
Long Way To Go

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